Bye Bye Engrish

Hi. So. This is my blog. What a great start.

Tomorrow, I kiss goodbye my freedom to speak English as of 1pm. With this in mind, I figure what better way to relish my last words than to immortalize them electronically. That, and I already have a lot of funny stories to tell from my first 36 hours in Hangzhou, where I'll be spending the next six weeks. Speaking Chinese. Only Chinese. F.

Let's start with the city. Hangzhou is entirely underrated - it is GORGEOUS and CLEAN and LAID BACK. Granted my introduction to the city has been a little cushier than the next month and a half is sure to be: mother and I came two days early to check out the sights, get acquainted with the city, gobble to our hearts' content, test the 小吃 (snacks) that the Zhejiang region has to offer, etc. The view of the West Lake from our comfy sixth floor room at the lake-front Hyatt Regency isn't half bad either. I mean. It's pretty awesome.

The weather. It's only appropriate to start by mentioning the unrelenting June rain that held a constant state between drizzle and downpour during my seven days in Hong Kong. The sky only broke for a few hours on the evening of July 1 - long enough for us to take in 30 delightful minutes of in-your-face pyrotechnics over the harbor from our lovely patio seating at Isola...the only question was... what were we celebrating? Won't get into it here, now. ANYWAY. Back to Hangzhou. Basically, it's worse than Hong Kong. 36 degrees C, what's that in F? 500% humidity. Imagine an enormous city built in a giant sauna. No, steam room. That's not too far off.

My mom just said, "you don't want me to the kind of mom who takes a room near you during your summer in Hangzhou!"... she's never been that kind of mom, what kind of sick joke is this? Anyway, sorry, tangent..

My favorite part about China, and has always been, is the idiosyncrasy of the clothing here. More specifically: t-shirt slogans. I've decided to log all the interesting ones I've come across. Obviously I've forgotten all of the ones from our walk to XihuTiandi (Hangzhou's answer to XinTiandi in Shanghai), save one: "very ways penisedis break." A not-so-favorite, albeit equally amusing, part of China is the potty training that goes on here. But - here's the catch! - there is no potty! Infants basically have big slits up the crotches of their pants so whenever they feel the urge to go, they just squat and go. Yesterday saw a little kid who couldn't have been more than 2 take a poop on the sidewalk.. don't worry, the parents are right there with a newspaper to scoop it up...

ok. our superoverpriced internet access expires in just a few minutes, so, in short:
- There are 8 Starbucks in Hangzhou.
- The Starbucks by our hotel is opposite an Hermes and a Ferarri dealership. Proof that Hangzhou is NOT a small fishing village in the middle of nowhere, as many of you I'm sure are convinced.
- During our walk along the lake, my mom and I spotted five grown men chilling in their PJs. Striped, mostly.
- Our lunch today cost US$1. Total.
- I found a store that sells Marc Jacobs, DVF, Rebecca Taylor, and Anna Sui frocks for under US$100. Jealous?
- They sell stickers at Watson's to make double eyelids.
- People actually dress well here. It's actually pretty shopping.
- I only saw two people spit today. I might have heard another two more. That is a record low. China really is evolving.
- Squat toilets are still gross.
- I went to a tea plantation today and tasted tea that costs RMB5400 a kilo. That's a little over US$500. It's called "Empress Tea." It dances in the teacup. Fancy!
- I learned how to make a face mask out of 龍井 tea leaves.

Hopefully this was a good start to my blogging attempt. Probably too much information, I'll work on that. At the very least I'll be documenting my sure to be hilarious escapades over the next six weeks. As for tomorrow and how this whole "not speaking English" deal... we'll see.

Wish me luck.